3 things to do if you want a second date


You’ve joined a club, gone to an event or by some clandestine alignment of the stars; you’ve caught the attention of another. You’ve made it past the ice-breaker conversation. You’ve done the appropriate amount of pre-date screening and feel you have a green light to meet. The hours are ticking away. Saturday is approaching and you soon will be in a position to have to open yourself up to this person. Will you be scrutinized? Will you be disappointed? Will this be your soul mate? Will you feel vulnerable or nervous? Here are a few simple things to remember to turn that first date into a second.

1) Be yourself. First and foremost you have to be YOU. No one can be someone else so to try will only look fake and unnatural. This is a turn off! Besides, to have a genuine relationship, you both have to genuinely know the real person anyway. Why waste your time and your date’s time pretending to be someone who does not exist in your skin. The true you is always better anyway!

2) Be present. If you both have set aside this time for each other then make sure you give this time to each other. Please do not text your friends or take calls from the office. It may help to let people who may contact you know that you will be out for the evening. Temporarily change the voice message on your phone to let callers know that unless it is an emergency you are unavailable for the evening and can return calls the next day. Anything else is insulting, shows little interest and wastes the opportunity before you.

3) Listen as well as speak. First dates are a time to get to know EACH OTHER. If the conversation is one-sided that will not happen. By asking getting-to-know-you questions, you show interest in your date and who they are. You are saying this person is interesting enough to want to know details. By also being willing to speak, you are making yourself accessible to your date. It is a 2-way street. Additionally, this sets the standard for positive mutual communication from the very start.

Remember there is no punishable crime for not having a second date. Your headshot will not be displayed on public dartboards and no one will turn into a toad. If the two of you are not a long-term match, so be it. You simply can not force a square peg into a round hole. Your day for a match will come. In the meantime you may meet a new friend and friends are one of life’s greatest treasures too. Give yourself every opportunity for a second date though by adhering to these tips.